Spring Break
For four years the world will continue to be safe from partial-birth abortions, terrorists, and gay marriages. Now, I guess we all know what W in George Bush stands for: Winner
Jacob Conley
Issue date: 11/5/04 Section: Opinion
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Topic: Bush wins four more years in office
My first thought after hearing that John Kerry would concede the presidency to George W. Bush was that of a typical evangelical. Praise Jesus!
For four more years the world will continue to be safe from partial-birth abortions, terrorists and gay marriages.
Now, I guess we all know what the W in George W. Bush stands for. Winner.
This time Bush's victory wasn't sealed by 550 votes in Florida, but instead by a margin of 150,000 in Ohio. He also won the popular vote by several million.
This could mean one of two things. Americans didn't want a left-wing liberal in the White House, or Rush Limbaugh has a much wider listening audience than I thought.
Seriously, Bush's overwhelming popular vote victory, as well as the gains by the Republicans in the House and the Senate, shows that the majority of Americans are clinging to remnants of the Judeo-Christian value, and that it is still prevalent in American politics.
Further proof of this can be found in the fact that 11 states had constitutional amendment issues concerning defining marriage between one man and one woman.
All 11 states passed this amendment, Mississippi by a whooping 92 percent.
Just a quick word on the election coverage. The most reliable network I found was Comedy Central's Indecision 2004: Prelude to a Recount.
It did not take itself very seriously, but still reported enough facts to be informative and helpful. Realizing this fact, Dan Rather employed the same method with quotes such as, "Bush is sweeping through the South like a tornado through a trailer park," and "Bush is beating Kerry like an old red mule."
Rather leave the comedy to the professionals.
I'd like to thank my readers for their support and use this opportunity as a platform to announce my candidacy for President in 12 years. I don't know if a particular party will even nominate me, but I do know one thing. I will beat Ralph Nader.
So remember right wing is the right thing in 2016. Vote Jacob Conley for President. (Who knows, I might pick Dr. Eastman as my running mate.)
My first thought after hearing that John Kerry would concede the presidency to George W. Bush was that of a typical evangelical. Praise Jesus!
For four more years the world will continue to be safe from partial-birth abortions, terrorists and gay marriages.
Now, I guess we all know what the W in George W. Bush stands for. Winner.
This time Bush's victory wasn't sealed by 550 votes in Florida, but instead by a margin of 150,000 in Ohio. He also won the popular vote by several million.
This could mean one of two things. Americans didn't want a left-wing liberal in the White House, or Rush Limbaugh has a much wider listening audience than I thought.
Seriously, Bush's overwhelming popular vote victory, as well as the gains by the Republicans in the House and the Senate, shows that the majority of Americans are clinging to remnants of the Judeo-Christian value, and that it is still prevalent in American politics.
Further proof of this can be found in the fact that 11 states had constitutional amendment issues concerning defining marriage between one man and one woman.
All 11 states passed this amendment, Mississippi by a whooping 92 percent.
Just a quick word on the election coverage. The most reliable network I found was Comedy Central's Indecision 2004: Prelude to a Recount.
It did not take itself very seriously, but still reported enough facts to be informative and helpful. Realizing this fact, Dan Rather employed the same method with quotes such as, "Bush is sweeping through the South like a tornado through a trailer park," and "Bush is beating Kerry like an old red mule."
Rather leave the comedy to the professionals.
I'd like to thank my readers for their support and use this opportunity as a platform to announce my candidacy for President in 12 years. I don't know if a particular party will even nominate me, but I do know one thing. I will beat Ralph Nader.
So remember right wing is the right thing in 2016. Vote Jacob Conley for President. (Who knows, I might pick Dr. Eastman as my running mate.)